Thursday, April 16, 2009

Adult Pain

I sat in a meeting in which a church leader opened up about the pain he feels from something he did twelve years ago. Some dark sin? No. He wanted to serve and took a responsibility completely outside his area of comfort or expertise.

The experience was horrible. He followed through because he is a man who keeps his obligations. He is not a bitter man, but he has never forgotten and still carries some of the pain.

Another guy I know recently opened up to me about the pain he carries from growing up with a mom who is a drug addict. He is learning to pray for her after admitting his previously hidden hurt.

A third man I know has a similar story about a drug-addicted mother. He has dealt with his pain in a different way, but he still carries it.

Yesterday one of the readers of this blog requested prayer for her husband who obviously carries childhood pain. I'm amazed at the number of adults I am meeting who have this burden. Some of them were wounded by a family member or other trusted adult. Others received their wounds from the actions of the church.

I shared some things about this subject at church a few weeks ago. You can go here and click on "He Felt Our Pain" to get the sermon audio.

Would any of you care to share about the pain with which you are familiar?


Liz said...

I won't say my life is pain free. But my pain is minimal and fleeting. Now.

My childhood isn't marked with a lot of happy memories. I cherish the good ones. I enjoy the happy pictures saved in albums. But most of my childhood is not filled with sunshine, toys, rainbows, and warm fuzzies. I don't hold on to that pain, though. Since early in my childhood, I can tell you that God made sure that I was carried through the years of abuse and poverty. I was surrounded by His love in a very personal and miraculous way. Because of that, I was able to find a place to heal, to become whole, to forgive- even if I didn't realize I was doing so.

I'm listening to your sermon right now, Sam. And growing from it.

Thank you for this post today. I'm very touched.

I read "The Shack" over the weekend and I am really hoping I can get my husband to read it. Because I have hope and faith that it might touch his heart. That he might see that God sent his son to take our pain, our sin, the sins committed against us. To take them from us and carry them for us. To see that even if we don't get the answer we think we should, God hears us and knows us and sees us. To understand that God is with you in the hard times and is there to comfort you and guide you through. That he is our Heavenly Father and that, just as we love our children no matter where they are and no matter what choices they make, He loves us unconditionally and with no term limit. I live in that love every day and find such peace and joy in it. I want my husband to feel it, too. I have faith that he will. He will.

Rachel Cotterill said...

This is a hard one for me to answer. I believe I'm fairly well-adjusted to mental pain (to echo Liz: "Now."). But I have a very low physical pain threshold, to the extent that I'm in pain most days... yet I know how lucky I am, which is why this is hard to post, because this is not something I talk about for fear of coming across as complaining. I hope you won't take it that way.