…if you're the one throwing them!
The following is a non-political announcement. "I have compassion for Newt. And Barack. And Mitt."
You see, I have thought more than once about what it would be like to make speeches every day, knowing that someone out there is ready to criticize everything you say. They will especially love to hurl rotten tomatoes if you open your mouth and make a huge gaff...
…just like I did last Sunday. 10:45 service. Last sermon of the weekend. Spontaneous remark. I. BLEW. IT!!!
I was talking about Demas, the New Testament deserter. (Look him up.) For some strange reason, I decided to bring in a bit of American history and talk about another famous deserter from the Revolutionary War. I snatched his name from my memory and blurted it out: "Nathan Hale!" The moment the words left my lips, I thought I saw one friend do a double-take. I quickly did a memory rewind and knew it sounded wrong. But I was fully in the next paragraph and chose not to pause for a quick audience reaction. (Our church is filled with people who love it when I let them point out my mistakes.)
I hope you are a compassionate reader. To all the descendants of the indelible Mr. Hale (and all you citizens of Connecticut, where he is the official State Hero), I am humbled by his heroic quote before being hanged by the British: "I only regret that I have but one life to give to my country." To the rest of you, I say, "Please don't pull a Benedict Arnold on me…
…My skin is allergic to tomatoes!"